Motherhood

feeling like "doesnt belong here" is suck, yes im talking about this moment when i feel so down below but have no close friend to talk with not even family... or a person i feel confi to talk with. i wouldn't thought being an immigrant is this hard... feel like moving to different planet... again i feel like i don't belong here. Yes im not happy not when im writing this blog, my job is suck, the place i live is horrible suck!! i dont mean to be such a ignorance but i hate to lie when dont feel happy about things. i have been applied hundreds office job application and none of them say yes... dont feel like going anywhere either after those long trip... i lost the excitement of seeing things. the opera house doesnt amuse me. i thought i hated my life in hectic Jakarta but i was wrong. i feel so much happier living in my own comfort area than here. i don't even have friends to hang out with like back in Jakarta. i mean i do have acquittance but ...

Feel like writing, i dont have much to say and share.. life repeats pretty much the same everyday. Summer in Sydney is officially over, it is what they called it autumn but i dont see any leafs falls... it feels like autumn cold and windy.. the sun is still there but the wind makes it so cold. in not ready for winter yet, last winter i had was 8 year ago in Canada i couldnt even remember what it was like... i need to buy more warmer clothes since i dont have any, i started to put the heater on it is not even winter yet... im already feel cold. Today after work i didnt want to step out of the door even the sun was there, because it was cold and windy... OMG im going to be fat if i dont do something during the winter but hibernate like bear in bed, eat, work and sleep... it is going to be boring!!! No more excitement ( i need one), the famous opera house and the beautiful Sydney harbour and the bridge are things i see everyday life... nothing special anymore... this is my city n...